Men tend to be less communicative or reserved partners especially in intimate relationships. Therefore, most men are reluctant when it comes to talking about their needs and desire especially in romantic or intimate relationships. Whether the inability to communicate their needs or social conditioning is to blame, most men are silently suffering simply because their partners are not satisfying their emotional needs.
Whether you are a woman or man reading this guide, this will give you clarity into your partner or yourself and what their or your needs are in intimate relationships. This will put an end to fighting, sex-less nights, verbal shut-downs and even breakups due to miscommunication. LetΓÇÖs explore exactly what men look for in their partner while in a relationship.
- Approval and praise
Men have very tender egos. Men want regular reassurance about themselves, their paths, their efficacy, their attractiveness and sexual prowess among other things. Therefore, men want their partners to tell them what they really like about them.┬á Although men need fewer verbal braises compared to their female counterparts, itΓÇÖs simply considered more of a good thing that doesnΓÇÖt require keeping score.
Therefore, ladies should let their praise loose by telling their partners what they find attractive about them. Let him know how you find it attractive when he does something a certain way, when he says something, when he achieves a goal, when he takes you on dates and his physical features that are your favorite. This will make him loves and appreciated rather than cocky. In fact, youΓÇÖll see his positives more, the more you praise them.
Men usually feel respect exactly as love. If your man feels like you donΓÇÖt approve of him, his dressing his career, and the things that make him who his is, he will have a very hard time loving and trusting you.
This is based on the thought process that ΓÇ£If you donΓÇÖt respect who I am, how can you want what is really best for me?ΓÇ¥ therefore, if you donΓÇÖt respect your manΓÇÖs mission or path in life, he will feel an anxious need to get away or distance himself from you.
- Sexual connection
Although both men and women connect through communication and sex, generally men tend to connect better through sex and women usually connect better through communication (verbal). However, this does not necessarily mean that men must have sex with their partners on a daily basis in order to feel connected.
Men usually connect through various indicators of sexuality as much as they connect with their partners through sex. Men initiate sex just to ensure that their partners are still sexually available to them. So, if a man reaches across the couch for you, simply showing the willingness to kiss him, embrace him and to engage him is enough to make him feel appreciated and loved (this does not mean that the follow through is not enjoyable).
The lack of understanding around men wanting to connect more through sex and women needing to connect through verbal communication can easily turn into a very rapid downward spiral.
The woman might not feel like committing sexually before she feels connected to her man, but the man might find it rather hard to communicate with his partner because they havenΓÇÖt been physically intimate with each other in days or weeks.
You can avoid these unfortunate and unintentional standoffs by simply asking your partner what makes them feel loved and appreciated.
- Emotional intimacy
Men are usually taught how to avoid showing signs of weakness at all costs from a very young age. Perceived weakness mainly includes things such as divulging concerns or fears, complaining and expressing worry or self-doubt.
You should be the safe place to fall for your man. This allows him to expose cracks in his armor so you can help him heal. ItΓÇÖs essential to understand that just as women open up over time sexually, men also need to slowly open up emotionally in a relationship. Your man needs to ensure that when he first opens up emotionally in front of you, youΓÇÖll not handle it poorly or be repelled. If you are unable to be encouraging or nurturing or if you simply push him away when he needs you the most, he wonΓÇÖt be able to trust you with his feelings and emotions. Therefore, heΓÇÖll simply remove himself from the relationship.
In this case, both partners lose because the man will go on suffering silently and believing that he is weak or flawed and the woman will be distanced emotionally.
Feminine is drawn towards intimacy and the masculine is mainly drawn towards independence. In most cases, the feminine-associated partner wants to spend more time with her partner and the masculine-associated partner usually wants more time apart. Therefore, striking a perfect balance is almost impossible. This is a balancing act of separateness and closeness.
However, suffocating a man either with overly jealous behavior of by failing to allow him some free time is the fastest way to end your relationship. Give your man some breathing room in the relationship so he can get ample time for his hobbies, time to spend on his projects and time with his friends to feel fulfilled.
Traditionally, women solve problems by going further into the tribe to connect with family and friends and discuss their issues. However, men solve problems by leaving the tribe to spend time alone with their issues and thoughts. Therefore, itΓÇÖs extremely important to let your man breathe. HeΓÇÖll be much happier if you receive him with open arms when he returns. This assures him that you trust him enough to give him his space.
- Physical touch
Your man needs a sense of strong sexual connection as well as frequent non-sexual touch or play. For instance, if you come up behind a man and touch his hair and neck in a loving manner while heΓÇÖs absorbed in a task, he will feel just as loved and appreciated as if heΓÇÖs just had sex.
Men interpret touch as physical love; this message is registered as ΓÇ£I love and appreciate you and I want you to be happyΓÇ¥. This shows your man that you care for him deeply and youΓÇÖll always be there for him.
Both men and women are attracted to security in a relationship. If your man feels that youΓÇÖre in the relationship for the long haul, we will be ready and willing to open up to you especially if he is equally invested in you.
However, security goes further than simply assuring your man that youΓÇÖll not leave him. ItΓÇÖs vital to understand that the security your man feels ties back to several points. Your man feels secure in simply knowing that you actually approve of him. Your man feels loved and secured when you touch him sexually or non-sexually. Your man will feel secure if you allow him to have a guyΓÇÖs night out away from you. Men generally feel secure with partners who take steps to love them in the ways they need most.
- Honest communication
One of the top priorities for men is honest communication. Men want partners who answer questions honestly or even volunteer information. Therefore, your man wants a partner who confidently asks for their needs and wants to be met. The woman should not only see the truth but also tell it as it is. However, itΓÇÖs absolutely essential for you to communicate with kindness without being overly critical. Men want a woman who truly cares about preserving her and his dignity.
Most women think men simply want them to be rather superficial or to keep their needs and wants to themselves without asking for anything. They think that men want them to be too sensitive and needy. Women think that they should not speak up because men will reject it for telling it as it is.
Great men actually need and want courageous and straightforward communication without criticism or anger. You can attract a great man and build a strong, satisfying relationship by simply communicating your needs and truths effectively.
- Men want confident, self-sufficient and secure women
Men want to be chosen out of want instead of desperation (either emotionally or materially). Although men truly want to be needed and wanted by their partners, they want women who have separate identities. Therefore, women should be independent and active with their own interests and friends. Moreover, men treasure quality time spent with a loving woman.
Men want to be needed and they truly appreciate time spent with their partners. However, some women think that showing men that they need and want them will turn them off and make them run away.
Both men and women want a whole partner.┬á You can build a vibrant relationship with your man by creating a rewarding and full life for your own fulfillment.
- Manipulation-free relationship
Men donΓÇÖt want to try to interpret their partnerΓÇÖs signals or read their mind. They donΓÇÖt want to be manipulated to move faster in the relationship that they want or to take blame for things that have gone wrong in the relationship.
Most women think that men want very little communication and they can only get their needs met through manipulation. They think that men want or need to be reminded that the relationship should move forward. As a result, women tend to only express or verbalize criticism because they think that men donΓÇÖt value acknowledgement and praise.
Men donΓÇÖt tolerate manipulation. In order to build a great relationship the woman should ask for what she needs and wants in every area of her life without hesitation. Learn his timeline and learn how to bestow praise and acknowledgement.
- Growth, ownership and personal responsibility
Men want a woman who has strength and courage and who can easily laugh at herself. They want a partner who sees her part in the various relationship dynamics. The woman should develop herself personally and take responsibility for her own emotional experiences.
Women believe that men simply want to have fun and they have no interest in growing and developing the relationship or growing and developing themselves. Women believe that men want supermodels and that they donΓÇÖt consider whether a woman is supportive, kind, loving or emotionally mature.
However, men want a partner who is emotionally mature and this does not mean suppressing emotions or lack of emotions. It means the ability to handle your emotions maturely and responsibly.
In order to build a strong, long-term relationship with a great man, you should take responsibility in expressing your emotional experience.
- Fidelity and commitment
Fidelity is one of the most important attributes men look for. Men want a partner who can commit wholeheartedly to the relationship; a woman without a ΓÇÿroaming eyeΓÇÖ. Commitment can be defined as fidelity and the willingness to make the relationship work at all costs even when things are tough.
However, most women think that men simply want sex and that they soon leave the relationship for a prettier face. They believe that men cannot be faithful and trustworthy. That men donΓÇÖt want to work on relationships and that when things are tough in the relationship, they run. In fact, some women believe that all men cheat.
A roaming eye and infidelity are just as distasteful and repulsive to men as they are to their female counterparts. Fidelity is the key to a wonderful relationship.
- Women who know how men should be treated
Many women diminish menΓÇÖs egos by treating them in ways that make them feel inadequate. Your man would rather have more acknowledgement, more praise for what he has done right, and more acknowledgement that they are appreciated and loved. However, women believe that men do not need these things. They believe that men do not value their support, their praise, and their opinion. Most women believe that men do not care about most things that are important to women, which is the main reason why they criticize and that criticism shows resentment.
Contrary to their beliefs, men want appreciation and acknowledgement from their partners. One of the most powerful survival tools in a relationship is learning to praise and acknowledge your partner instead of making him wrong.
Companionship is one of the main reasons why men stay in a relationship and eventually decide to marry. The word companionship describes this need very eloquently; men are looking for women who are fun to be around. This should be someone the man can talk to about their goals and dreams, someone who gets their sense of humor and someone who will stick with them even when the going gets tough.
Once a man finds such a woman, it is only natural that he will try to do everything in his power to spend more time with her. Compatibility is a very powerful drive that sticks people together.
- A woman who is strong and confident
Confidence is an absolute necessity especially when it comes to keeping a man. Nobody wants to spend every minute with their partner trying to convince them that they are as amazing as they truly believe. Therefore, men appreciate partners who know their own qualities and value and allow men to be the icing on their cake, rather than a constant cheerleader.
Your man simply wants to find out what makes you strong and amazing and love and appreciate you for it. Therefore, it is very important to be confident in your worth in order for your man to love you for who you are. However, if you lack confidence nothing else matters because youΓÇÖll not love yourself enough to deserve to be loved. Try not to verbalize your insecurities and they will simply fade away while you let your man love you.
When you shed your insecurities, you allow your man to love you without discoloring his view with your own skewed vision. Therefore, you should not push your manΓÇÖs impression in the gutter simply because of your own skewed beliefs. For instance, you might think that your tummy does not tuck enough or that your hair is too frizzy but you should not verbalize such insecurities especially to your man.
Confidence allows you to shoulder your own image and keep moving forward despite anything that is holding you back. Confidence is the ability to allow your goals to override your uncertainties and charge forward with power. ItΓÇÖs the ability to be confident without reacting to doubt or the nagging voices in your head. Once you let go of your doubt, youΓÇÖll advance into a new space where you are appreciated and cherished. This will also allow you to give your man exactly what he needs.
This is the simple yet hard and shocking truth about what men look for in a relationship. Sometimes you might think that your man is looking for something more than this, maybe a life mate, roommate, soul mate, a partner, coffee mate or whatever else, but as I have mentioned in the beginning, this is because men and women have very different desires and needs when it comes to a relationship.